25072023
In the religion that I was born in, it's a deadly sin to kill yourself. I deliberately use the adjective here to try to be cynical. I don't care if it ever is jolting to anyone since I am simply putting all these here not to fancy anyone. I was triggered to write something after I have watched Anthony Bourdain's memoir on Netflix. I have never thought that watching it would have left such an impactful feeling to me. Am I faking this emotion? Why do I always feel so relatable to films or stories that talk about manic episodes and suicide? I do not want to end up in hell, to be honest. I do feel that I am still sane to even consider putting an end to my own life, but why do I feel that if there's ever anyone feels suicidal or even had killed him or herself that no one actually understands this feeling? Get this: I don't wake up every morning planning to be so dramatic - thinking about ending my life so that other people would only realise my existence. But there are...
